The first Monday in a brand new shining year: how do we fill it? How do we even begin?

Do you have lists of resolutions? Things to manifest? Are you embracing one word for the New Year? I've been thinking about this and I acknowledge that I want to establish some healthier habits: eating better and going back to the gym regularly, but, bigger picture, I seem to have hit a wall.

Am I tired? Emotionally exhausted from the ups and downs of the pandemic? Where are all my fine ambitions and grand plans? I seem to have lost interest in them.

I seem to have found a comfortable little bubble where I am content, where life feels good most of the time. Is it laziness or complacency to want to curl up and enjoy this space?

I acknowledge that I have deeper concerns and anxieties. Will the pandemic continue to rage on and cause the cancelation of more festivals and my means of making a living?

I know that the world is on the precipice of climate disaster, but growing up in the Cold War, I can't imagine a world that isn't always on the brink of ending (does anyone remember the nuclear bomb drills where we'd sit under our desks and wait to be killed?)

At some point, I think we all get disaster fatigue. I make the small contributions that I can but I cannot remake the world on a global scale so I check out when the disaster talk gets too much.

I worry over the well being of my family and friends, but again, I cannot control their lives or their decisions. They chose their own paths and I wish them prosperity and happiness on their journeys. I love to see them happy and flourishing but I cannot control their choices.

I know that I use art as an escape when the world feels overwhelming, but I don't know if that's a bad thing. The world can feel too much sometimes and we all need an escape hatch.

In the end, my inner world is the one that I have some ability to control. I work on love, self love and self care. I can go within and dive deep into that inner well to nourish self and soul.

As we move further into a new year, I resolve to love myself a little more every day and work to love all of you a little more every day as well.

Thank you for sticking with me through all the madness. Knowing you're out there means everything to me. May 2022 be all that you want to be and may your journey continue in love.