From Alchemy to Presence: A Journey of Healing and Becoming
The year began with ashes—a life I had to leave behind, a home that was never truly a sanctuary, and a version of myself I could no longer bear to be. In January of 2024, I escaped a domestic violence relationship. It wasn’t a clean break; it never is. I left behind more than I took, and yet I carried with me the heaviest of burdens—the bruises on my spirit, the cracks in my heart, and the echoes of words that felt like curses.
But 2024 was my year of alchemy, and alchemy is, at its core, the magic of transformation. It is the art of taking something broken, base, or heavy and transmuting it into something golden. I didn’t know it at the time, but my escape was not the end of the story—it was the first incantation, the first spark of a flame that would grow and illuminate the darkest corners of my soul.
The Alchemy of Healing
They don’t tell you how hard healing is. It’s not a straight line or a gentle ascent. It’s messy, like spilling ink across an unwritten page, only to realize that the chaos was where the story was meant to begin.
I found healing in creation. My hands, once trembling with fear, began to make again. At first, it was digital collages—pieces of broken images stitched together to form something whole. Then it was fabric, the tactile pleasure of designing and sewing handbags that felt like little pieces of art I could carry with me. With every stitch, I was mending more than cloth; I was mending myself.
Art became my alchemy. Poetry became my salve. I poured my experiences into words and let them find their way into the world. Through my two new poetry books and new oracle deck: The Art of Resilience, I realized that sharing my story wasn’t just about me; it was about creating something that others could hold onto when they, too, felt like they were drowning.
I became an advocate—for self-love, for self-care, and for awareness of the insidious nature of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse. I wanted my journey to mean something, to be a light in the dark for someone else.
Presence: A New Word, A New Beginning
As the year draws to a close, I find myself standing at the threshold of something new. My word for 2025 is presence.
Presence is a tricky thing. It asks you to stop running—from the past, from fear, from the ghosts that linger in the corners of your mind. It demands that you be here, now, in the moment, without flinching. And after a year of transmutation, of turning pain into power, I am ready to stop running.
Presence means I will show up for myself, fully. It means I will savor the quiet moments, the simple joys of creation, the feel of fabric beneath my fingers, the rhythm of a poem finding its form. It means I will hold space for my own healing, even when it feels uncomfortable. It means I will be here, truly here, for the people who matter and the work that fuels my soul.
It also means continuing to advocate. Presence is being brave enough to tell the truth about the things we often keep hidden. It’s having hard conversations about boundaries, about self-worth, about how love should never come at the cost of your safety or your sanity.
Looking Back, Moving Forward
As I look back on 2024, I see not just the pain but the transformation. I see the gold glinting in the cracks. I see a life rebuilt, not as it was, but as it was always meant to be.
And as I look forward to 2025, I feel a quiet determination. Presence is not flashy or loud. It is soft, steady, and resolute. It is the promise to be here for all of it—the good, the bad, and the moments that feel like both at once.
An Invitation
To those reading this, I invite you to reflect on your own journey. What was your word for 2024? What will guide you in 2025? Perhaps you, too, have been through your own alchemy—your own transformation—and are ready to step into a new way of being.
Choose your word. Hold it close. Let it shape the way you move through the world.
And know this: you are not alone. Whether you are mending, creating, or simply surviving, there is gold within you, waiting to shine.
Here’s to 2025. Here’s to presence.
Beautifully written. Authenticity is my word for 2025. It's a word I've been afraid of for far too long. Here's to us, my friend!