I've spent a lot of time feeling like the weirdest person in the room even though I think that I don't necessarily look like the weirdest person in the room. I just feel it.
I've spent a lot of my life trying to fit into the normal box, trying to squish and contain myself enough that I could pass as normal to the unsuspecting eye. I don't know how successful my ruse was but I do know that I paid a very high price.
Trying to look like everyone else, trying to seem like everyone else, I started internalizing all that judgment. The reasons why I felt like I needed to appear as normal undermined my basic sense of self. I felt like I needed to hide my truth.
I wore the mask of normality but I know I never fooled myself. I believed that weird was bad. Weird was wrong. Weird needed to be hidden.
And then I discovered art and I began to reveal my inner weirdness. I felt safe on the canvas. I could express my inner sense of self with less fear and restriction. It feel distanced enough from my heart that I felt safe being who I truly was.
Inevitably, I realized that people would know that the weird of the art reflected the weird of my soul, but the more art I created, the less I feared revealing my inner weird.
My shadow self is beautiful. My inner weird shadow should never have been hidden. I've come to realize that those things that seemed shameful were never shameful at all. Weird is wonderful. I should never have felt like I needed to hide my truth.
Which is why I am so excited about this coming Saturday when The Oddities and Curiosities Expo will be back in New Orleans. I can set up my art among an entire building full of artists who embrace their inner weird, who live to express the prismatic brilliance of their souls and the gothic darkness of their inner worlds.
We can let our inner weird out for all the world to see. We'll be physically masked for safety, but our inner selves will be completely exposed for the world to marvel upon and enjoy.
Hope to see you there!
Comments