When I recently worked the Oddities and Curiosities Expo, an encounter with a woman brought new meaning to my presence there. She paused at my table, her eyes drawn to the collection of merchandise I had on display. Among them, she picked up my book of poetry, delving into its pages with genuine interest.
"This is powerful stuff," she remarked. "Did you write all of this?"
I admitted that indeed, I was the author. I explained that much of my writing stemmed from the depths of my own experiences in abusive relationships, a journey through pain that I had processed through the medium of poetry.
"I believe this is your purpose for being here," the woman continued, her gaze filled with empathy. "My own daughter is currently escaping from an abusive relationship. By sharing your own story, you let other women know that they are not alone in their struggles."
I remember responding, perhaps with a tinge of bitterness, expressing my preference for never having to endure the agonizing ordeal of an abusive relationship. Her sympathetic smile remained unwavering as she added that each of us has a unique purpose in this world, and perhaps mine was found in this very act of sharing.
Her words struck a chord, leaving me with a lot to chew on. To be entangled with someone who uses you as their emotional punching bag is a profound challenge. Yet, in facing that darkness, I discovered an astonishing strength within myself. I am remarkably resilient, having emerged from the depths of despair. Despite their relentless attempts, my abusers failed to break me completely. I am still standing, functioning, and refusing to succumb. Abuse thrives in the silence, in the shadows where shame keeps us hidden. But I refuse to be silent any longer about the torment I endured.
Lilith, a figure born from the ancient Jewish mystics as a cautionary tale for women rebelling against the patriarchy, takes on a significant role in my newfound perspective. She has evolved over the millennia, embodying strength and defiance. Lilith dared to challenge Adam, even facing the wrath of God himself without yielding.
Her ability to sprout wings and escape her abusive situation is a luxury most of us do not possess, but Lilith belongs to us now, representing the strength we all possess within. She defies the mighty Creator himself, unyielding and resilient.
Lilith becomes the most crucial figure in my new deck. Alongside her, the Fallen Angels, who once defied their Creator for various reasons, hold profound significance. They were punished and cast into the shadows, but no more. We refuse to stand in the darkness, hiding any longer.
Abuse, suffering, and shame thrive in silence and obscurity. But no more. Never again.
If my purpose is to survive emotional hell so that other women may realize they have done nothing wrong, and that they are not deserving of the torment and abuse inflicted upon them by their partners, their parents, or anyone else, then so be it. We all deserve better. Let us unite in sharing our stories. Let us defy the abusers who seek to break us and keep us silent.
Together, we will illuminate the shadows and shatter the chains of suffering.
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